It has been quite a few years since we have had a new BDSM 101 book, leaving us with books that were generally written in the mid to late 90s – perfectly good and useful books but dated nonetheless. Tristan Taormino’s latest book, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge is a excellent way to break that long dry spell!
I was hooked with the introduction, but to be fair I’m generally a huge fan of Tristan’s writing. This, however, is so perfectly descriptive of my experience in the kink community:
“That’s what’s so ironic about the conservative backlash against BDSMers. With increased visibility comes increased bigotry, and conservatives continue to rally against kinky events by local groups to get them shut down. What the anti-kink fanatics don’t understand about us is that we’re geeks. Sex nerds. SM intellectuals. We pay money to spend a weekend going to classes.”
Sex nerds. Yup. That’s me and most of my friends.
From there, The Ultimate Guide to Kink deviates from the norm for books on BDSM in that each chapter is written by someone who has extensive experience with the given topic. When I first heard about it, I was disappointed that the whole thing hadn’t been written by Tristan, but after reading a few chapters I’m convinced this is a far better idea. Rather than one author trying to cover all the bases, this gives you not only the information but also the passion these people feel for their topics. These include plenty of the standards: impact play, bondage, cbt, role play; some upper level areas: vaginal and anal fisting, play piercing, animal play, rough sex; and a hefty helping of subjects that rarely see the light of day outside of edgier conferences: age play, well thought out submission and sadism, taboo role play, and mindfuck. I found a good solid handful of new ideas, which is rare seeing as I’ve read most of the BDSM 101+ books on the market.
My personal favorites were “Kinky Twisted Tantra” by Barbara Carrellas, “Submissive: A Personal Manifesto” by Madison Young, “Inside the Mind of a Sadist” by FifthAngel, and “Mindfuck” by Edge but every essay is excellent. Plus, it left me itching to go play which is what a good BDSM book should do, right?